How do you get a guitar player to play softer?
Give him some sheet music.
Because it can keep a steady beat and won't sleep with your girlfriend.
Oh, about twenty yards on a good day.
What is the difference between a drummer and a vacuum cleaner?
You have to plug one of them in before it sucks.
"Madam," he announced, "I m the piano tuner."
The lady exclaimed, "Why, I didn't send for a piano tuner."
The man replied, I know you didn't, but your neighbours did.
Next morning, he asked the housekeeper how it was.
Catastrophe! your colleague also sent his housekeeper to replace him.