Customer care officer:I need a product identification no: right now and may I help u in finding it out?
Cust: sure
CCO: could u left click on start and do u find 'My Computer'?
Cust: I did left click but how the hell do I find your computer?
Customer: "You've got to fix my computer. I urgently need to print document, but the computer won't boot properly."
Tech Support: "What does it say?"
Customer: "Something about an error and non-system disk."
Tech Support: "Look at your machine. Is there a floppy inside?"
Customer: "No, but there's a sticker saying there's an Intel inside."
Tech Support:: "What type of computer do you have?"
Customer:: "A white one."
Three Finer Points:
Heller's Law: The first myth of management is that it exists.
- It's not that good help is hard to find, it's just that bad help is so hard to get rid of.
- They say you need a can-do attitude to get ahead in life. I disagree -- many people obviously got to be Vice-Presidents of major corporations just by snapping a few pictures of their respective CEO's and his secretary.
A manager is known by three measures:
The thickness of the carpet in his office.
The area of his desk.
The volume of his car's engine.
Personnel manager: "What made you leave your last job?"
Applicant: "Sickness."
Personnel manager: "And what was the problem?"
Applicant: "My boss was sick of me!"
Personal Manager to New job applicant: "Why did your manager fire you?"
"Well a manager is the man who stands arround and watches others work, right? " the young appicant replied.
"Yes, but why did he fire you?"
"He was jelous of me. A lot of workers thought i was the manager!"
Personnel Manager interviewing prospective employee: "Your application states you were at your last place for 25 years. Then what made you leave the place?"
Hoperful applicant: "I was forced to-they granted me parole!"
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