Salesmen Jokes

A small company was on the edge of bankruptcy. The owner summoned his two-man sales force into his office. "Things aren't going too well, guys," he announced grimly. "So to perk up sales I'm announcing a contest. The guy with the most sales gets a blow job."
"What does the loser get?" asked one of the salesmen.
The owner looked at both men and said, "The loser gets to give it."

Salesman: This computer will cut your workload by 50%.
Office Manager: That's great, I'll take two of them.

How can you tell when a salesperson is lying?
His lips are moving.

An insurance salesman was getting nowhere in his efforts to sell a policy to a farmer. "Look at it this way sir." he said finally. "How would your wife carry on if you should die ?" "Well..." drawled the weather-beaten man, "I don't reckon that'd be any concern of mine -- long as she behaves herself while I'm alive."

Salesman: Would you like to buy a pocket calculator?
Customer: No, thanks. I know how many pockets I have.

Q: How many salespeople does it take to change a light bulb?
A1: None. "You don't need a new light bulb - you need to upgrade your socket to the newest version."
A2: Just one, but it'll take technical support weeks to sort out the mess left behind.
A3: Four. One to change the bulb and three to pull the chair out from under him.

What's the difference between a used car salesman and a software salesmen?
Only the used car salesemen knows when he lying.

How do salespeople traditionally greet each other?
"Hi. Nice to meet you. I'm better than you."

How can you tell when a salesperson is lying?
His lips are moving

Salesman calling up prospective client: : "Is the boss in?"
New office assistant: "Are you a salesman, bill collector or a friend of his?"
Salesman, thinking quickly: " All Three!"
Office boy, smelling the ploy: " In that case, he's in a business conference. He's out of town. Step in and see him!:

Salesman: " This computer will cut your workload by 50%."

Office manager: "That's great, I'll take two of them!"

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