Accountant Jokes

Accountancy fact: What is the difference between Liability & Asset?
A drunk friend is liability
But
A drunk Girlfriend is an Asset.

funny accountant jokes one liners

At the bank, I told the cashier, "I'd like to open a joint account please."

"Okay, with whom?"

"Whoever has lots of money."

funny accountant jokes one liners

Accountancy fact:
What is the difference between Liability & Asset?

A drunk friend is liability
But.
A drunk Girlfriend is an Asset.

funny accountant jokes one liners

Q: Why do accountants make good lovers?
A: They are great with figures!

funny accountant jokes one liners

If an accountant's wife cannot sleep, what does she say?
"Darling, could you tell me about your work."
funny accountant jokes one liners

An accountant is having a hard time sleeping and goes to see his doctor. "Doctor, I just can't get to sleep at night."
"Have you tried counting sheep?"
"That's the problem - I make a mistake and then spend three hours trying to find it."
funny accountant jokes one liners


A business owner tells her friend that she is desperately searching for an accountant.
Her friend asks, "Didn't your company hire an accountant a short while ago?"
The business owner replies, "That's the accountant I've been searching for."
funny accountant jokes one liners


Why did the accountant cross the road?
To bore the people on the other side.
funny accountant jokes one liners


There are three kinds of accountants in the world
Those who can count and those who can't.

funny accountant jokes one liners


What's an actuary?
An accountant without the sense of humor

funny accountant jokes one liners


What do actuaries do to liven up their office party?
Invite an accountant.

funny accountant jokes one liners


What's a shy and retiring accountant?
An accountant who is half a million shy and that's why he's/she's retiring.

funny accountant jokes one liners


What is the difference between tax avoidance and tax evasion?
Jail.

funny accountant jokes one liners


Why do accountants make good lovers?
Ther're great with figures!

funny accountant jokes one liners

Why don't accountants read novels?
Because the only number in them are page nunbers!

funny accountant jokes one liners