All of us have been students sometimes and have been privy to many funny conversations between teacher and students. We have laughed till tears rolled down our eyes on ur teachers.
What was fun yesterday are now fond memories of teachers we loved and hated. Many of these student teacher jokes will remind you of those times while many others will make you wonder at such short funny conversations between teacher and student.
If you are a teacher you will thank god that you never had some of the students portrayed here. Student and teacher related jokes are something we always quote and unquote. We talk about our teachers all through our lives and enjoy these jokes targeted at smart students.
At farewell parties and functions we specially talk of the teacher student relationship and put our point through these short anecdotes on teachers and students.
Teacher student jokes whether in English, Hindi, Tamil, Telegu or any other language are always popular. However it is easier to find funny jokes between teacher and student in English than in say Marathi or Kannada. But you can translate these jokes between student and teacher in your preferred language and they will still be very funny. We have given preferrence to jokes that are short and sweet.
Some parents got letters from the principal of the school that their children were behaving like animals..
One parent wrote back...
You expect our children to...
Wake up like roosters
Carry bags like donkeys
Run to the school like deers
Work hard like ants
Copy from the blackboard like monkeys
Be quiet as fish
And after all this you are surprised they behave like animals???
In a science class, 3 worm were placed into 3 separate jars.
The first worm was put into a jar of alcohol
The second worm was put into a jar of cigarette smoke
The third worm was put into a jar of soil.
After one day, these were the results:
The first worm in alcohol dead.
The second worm in cigarette smoke dead.
The 3rd worm in soil alive.!!
So the science teacher asked the class "What can you learn from this experiment.?"
Little Santa quickly raised his hand and said. "As long as you drink and smoke , you won't have worms inside u.":
Tortoise and a Rabbit wrote an entrance exam, Tortoise got 80%, Rabbit got 81%.
Both went for admission to an engineering college,
Cut-off needed was 85%.
Rabbit didn't get admission, but the Tortoise got admission.
U remember when we were in the 1st standard, the tortoise won a race.
Sports quota ... 5% marks extra
A Student who got 0% Marks, was surprised because his all answers were seemingly correct !
Question - In which battle did Tipu Sultan Die ?..
Answer - In his Last Battle..
Question - Where was the Declaration of Independence Signed?
Answer - At the Bottom of the Page..
Question - What is the Main Reason for Divorce ?..
Answer - Marriage..
Question - Ganga Flows in which State ?..
Answer - Liquid State..
Question - When was Mahatma Gandhi Born ?..
Answer- On His Birthday..
Question - How will you Distribute 8 Mangoes among 6 People ?..
Answer - By Preparing Mango Shake..!!
Question - India Me saal bhar Sabse Zyada Baraf Kaha Girti Hai...???
Awesome Reply By Student :- "Daaru K Glass Me..."
Question- Why Hindu Law does not permit Second Marriage...???
Answer : Indian Constitution - Article 20(2)-says, "No man can be punished twice for same offence"
In a Nursery School Canteen...
There's a basket of apples with a notice written over it :-
"Do not take more than one, God is watching"
On the other counter there's a box of chocolates.
A small child went & wrote on it.
"Take as many as U want, God is busy watching the apples"...
NEVER ACT SMART WITH Today's Generation..!.!
In the class teacher said
Teacher: "The first person to answer my question will go home early"
Santa threw the bad outside
Teacher asked: Whose bag is that???
Santa answered:It's mine... i am going home bye..bye...
Teacher: Why does 'The Great Wall of China' features in the '7 Wonders of the World'?
Santa: Because it is the first and only Chinese product which lasted for so long.
Teacher: What Is The Difference Between HIMAMI & TSUNAMI ?
Student : HIMAMI is Face Wash, TSUNAMI is Total Wash.!
Teacher: What is the chemical formula for water?
Student: H I J K L M N O.
Teacher: What are you talking about?
Student: Yesterday you said it's H to O.
Teacher : Name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago.
Student : Me!
Teacher : Why do you always get so dirty?
Student : Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.
Teacher : Millie, give me a sentence starting with ' I. '
Millie : I is...
Teacher : No, Millie...... always say, 'I am.'
Millie : All right... 'I am the ninth letter of the alphabet'
TEACHER: George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but also admitted it. Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn't punish him?
LOUIS: Because George still had the axe in his hand......
TEACHER: Now, Simon , tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?
SIMON: No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good cook.
Teacher: Your composition on 'My Dog' is exactly the same as your brother's.. Did you copy his?
Student : No sir, It's the same dog.
Teacher: What do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?
Student: A teacher
Teacher: How do you spell 'crocodile?'
Teacher: No, that's wrong
Student: Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it.
Teacher: Why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?
Student: You told me to do it without using the tables.
Teacher: How old is your father?
Student: He is 6 years.
Teacher: What? How is this possible?
Student: He became father only when I was born.
A cute excuse:
Teacher:Y r u late?
Student: Mom & dad were fighting.
Teacher: so what makes U late if dey were fighting?
Student: one shoe was in mom's hand and one in dad's..
A letter from a teacher to a parent:
Kumar doesn't smell nice in class. Please try to bath him.
Dear Teacher, Kumar is not a rose, Dont smell him,Teach him.....
In the class teacher said : "the First person to answer my question will go home early"
Student threw his bag outside
Teacher: Whose bag is that???
Student answered: It's mine, and said i answered your question now i am going home
Grandfather to Grandson: "Go hide! Your teacher is coming as you bunked school today!"
Grandson: "YOU go hide... I told her YOU PASSED AWAY!! ??????"
Geography Teacher: agar koi chota planet prithvi se takraye toh kya hoga..?
Student: to "Tadang" jaisa aavaj aayega.
Sir gusse se: Kyu ??
Student: "Ye Duniya ,,,, Ye Duniya Pittal di.
Teacher to a grade 2 student : Who is the youngest member in your family?
? Student : Papa
Teacher : Beta youngest, sabse chota kaun hai ?
Student : Papa
Teacher : How ?
Student : Because he still sleeps with mummy!
Teacher to student: "Write a short note on MATHS!!"
Student: "When maths was 13 yrs old, he had his first gf n loved her a lot..
One day when he broke up with her, she ran away & never came back.
Maths was very upset,
& from that day he had given all of us..
the task to find his 'x'..!
Teacher was teaching Mahabaratha to 6th std students. "Kans heard devaki's 8th son wud kill him. So he put devaki & vasudev in prison. 1st child was born. Kans killed it by poison. 2nd Kans killed by sword. 3rd was born n so on...
? At this point a boy raised his hand for a doubt.
Teacher : What?
Boy : "If kans knew that the 8th son wud kill him, why did he put devaki & vasudev in SAME jail?"
English paper for 12th class
Question :-What is love and explain in details ? ( 20 marks)
Answer: Love is life.
(marks : 5 out of 20 )
Answer : Love is pain.
( marks : 5 out of 20 )
Answer : Love Khuda hai.
( marks : 5 out of 20 )
A serious disorder of heart due to relationship between men & women that can cause death of 1 or both depending on the resistance associated
1 sided & 2 sided
Usually occurs in teenages but nowdays can be found in any age
- DIAGNOSIS BY:
Anti-LOVE therapy by Father's Shoe
(marks 20 out of 20 ) Excellent !!
NOTE :- Don't ask Indian students. They can stretch any thing for 20 marks !
Teacher: Murgiyon ki taange chhoti kyu hoti hai ?
Banta: Sir, agar murgiyon ki taange Lambi hoti to Ande itne upar se gir kar toot jate na.
Teacher: Chand par pehla kadam kisne rakha?
Pappu: NEIL ARMSTRONG.
Teacher: Aur doosra ?
Pappu: Doosra bhi usi ne rakha hoga ..... Langdi khelne thodi gaya tha woh!!!!
Teacher: Name 5 animals that live in water.
Teacher: Very good, 4 others?
Student: Its mother, father, sister and brother..
Student: Sir you only teach one subject! Also the others teachers teach only one or two subjects?
Student: Then why only students have to do all subjects sir?
Teacher: Whats the meaning of Attention Deficit Hyperactive Disorder?
Student: Bamba'lakkadi Jimba.
Teacher: I dont understand anything you said.
Student: Same here.
Teacher: Pappu, TAMSO MA JYOTIR GAMYA" shloka ka kya arth hai?
Pappu: Tum so jayo maa, mein Jyoti ke pass ja raha hoon.
TEACHER : What is the chemical formula for water?
PAPPU : "HIJKLMNO! "!!
TEACHER : What are you talking about?
PAPPU : Yesterday you said it's H to O !
TEACHER : PAPPU, go to the map and find North America.
PAPPU : Here it is!
TEACHER : Correct. Now, class, who discovered America?
CLASS : PAPPU!
TEACHER : PAPPU, how do you spell "crocodile"?
PAPPU : "K-R-O-K-O-D-A-I-L"
TEACHER : No, that's wrong
PAPPU : Maybe it's wrong, but you asked me how I spell it!
TEACHER : PAPPU, give me a sentence starting with "I".
PAPPU : I is...
TEACHER : No, PAPPU. Always say, "I am."
PAPPU : All right... "I am the ninth letter of the alphabet."
TEACHER : "Can anybody give an example of "COINCIDENCE?"
PAPPU : "Sir, my Mother and Father got married on the same day, same time."
TEACHER : "George Washington not only chopped down his father's Cherry tree,
but also admitted doing it. Now do you know why his father didn't punish
PAPPU : "Because George still had the axe in his hand?"
PAPPU : Daddy, have you ever been to Egypt?
FATHER : No. Why do you ask that?
PAPPU: Well, where did you get THIS mummy then?
TEACHER : What a pair of strange socks you are wearing, one is green and one is blue with red spots !
PAPPU: Yes it's really strange. I've got another pair just like that at home.
TEACHER : Now, PAPPU, tell me frankly do you say prayers before eating ?
PAPPU: No sir, I don't have to, my mom is a good cook.
TEACHER : PAPPU, your composition on "My Dog" is exactly the same as your brother's. Did you copy his ?
PAPPU: No, teacher, it's the same dog !
TEACHER : What do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?
PAPPU: A teacher
A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales.
The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small.
The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale.
Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible.
The little girl said, "When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah". The teacher asked, " What if Jonah went to hell?" The little girl replied, "Then you ask him".
A Kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they were drawing.
She would occasionally walk around to see each child's work. As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what the drawing was.
The girl replied, "I'm drawing God."
The teacher paused and said, "But no one knows what God looks like."
Without missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing, the girl replied, "They will in a minute."
A linguistics professor was lecturing his class one day.
'In English', he said, 'A double negative forms a positive. In some languages, though, such as Russian, a double negative is still a negative.
However, there is no language wherein a double positive can form a negative.'
A loud voice from the back of the room piped up, 'Yeah, right.'
One day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at the kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed that her mother had several strands of white hair sticking out in contrast on her brunette head.
She looked at her mother and inquisitively asked, "Why are some of your hairs white, Mom?"
Her mother replied, "Well, every time that you do something wrong and make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white."
The little girl thought about this revelation for a while and then said, "Momma, how come ALL of grandma's hairs are white?"
The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture. "Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say, 'There's Jennifer, she's a lawyer,' or 'That's Michael, He's a doctor.' A small voice at the back of the room rang out, "And there's the teacher, She's dead. "
A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood. Trying to make the matter clearer, she said, "Now, class, if I stood on my head, the blood, as you know, would run into it, and I would turn red in the face.." "Yes," the class said. "Then why is it that while I am standing upright in the ordinary position the blood doesn't run into my feet?" A little fellow shouted, "Cause your feet ain't empty."
The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray: "Take only ONE. God is watching."
Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies.
A child had written a note, "Take all you want. God is watching the apples.
Child: "Why do you send me to school for."
Mother: "To make a man out of you."
Child: "But my teacher makes everyday a cock out of me."
A girl was yelling in the Church after the Chapel: "Oh God! Please make Moscow the Capital of China!"
The priest inquired: "Why must you pray so, my child?"
Girl: "That's what I've written in my answer sheet in the examination!"
When the teacher entered the class all the boys were standing.
The teacher said: 'Now, all of you sit down except those who are absolutely dull and duffers?' All the boys sat down except Rajan.
Teacher: 'Why Rajan? Are you absolutely dull and a duffer?'
Rajan: 'No sir. The thing is that you were standing alone and it didn't look good to me.'
Teacher : "Which is more important to us, the sun or the moon?"
Pupil : "The moon".
Teacher : "Why?"
Pupil : "The moon gives us light at night when we need it but the sun gives us light only in the day time when we don't need it".
Teacher : "What do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?"
Pupil : "A teacher".
Teacher : "Now, children, if I saw a man beating a donkey and stopped him,what virtue would I be showing?"
Student : "Brotherly love".