Lady: My husband just swallowed an Aspirin by mistake, what shall I do?
Dr: "Give him a headache now, why waste medicine !"
--Signboard outside a.. PATHOLOGY Clinic--
For you it may be your Urine & Potty...
for us, it is our Dal & Roti...!!!
Ashok: Why did u run away from operation table??
Ramesh : The nurse was repeatedly saying-"don't get nervous" ,"don't be afraid. "Be strong" This is a small operation only."
Ashok : So what was wrong in that? Why are you so afraid?
Ramesh: She was talking to the surgeon!
Dentist: Why is one of your teeth broken? Man: I ate a chakli prepared by my wife that was very hard, Doc! Dentist: If it was so hard, you should have refused to eat. Man: Then all 32 teeth would have been broken,
Dr gets a call...
Women:My husband just swallowed Aspirin by mistake, what shall I do?
Dr: "Give him a headache now, what else!"
Definition of Nurse : A beautiful woman who holds your hand for one full minute and then expects your pulse to be normal.
Doctor : How is ur headache ?
Patient : she's out of town.
Doctor : Your Liver is enlarged
Patient : Does that mean it has space for more beer?>
This is called... Positive Thinking...
In a "Mental Hospital" a journalist asks the Doctor: "How do you determine whether to admit a mental patient or not?"
Doctor: "Well..we'd fill a bathtub with water & then give a teaspoon, a glass & a bucket to the patient & ask them to empty the bathtub."
Journalist: "Oh, obviously a normal person would use the bucket coz its bigger."
Doctor: "No, a normal person would pull the drain plug! Please go to bed No.39. We will start further investigations on you!"
A man speaks frantically into the phone, "My wife is pregnant, and her contractions are only two minutes apart!"
"Is this her first child?" the doctor queries.
"No, you idiot!" the man shouts. "This is her husband!"
The surgeon told his patient that woke up after having been operated:
"I'm afraid we're going to have to operate you again. Because, you see, I forgot my rubber gloves inside you."
"Well, if it's just because of them, I'd rather pay for them if you just leave me alone."
The doctor said he would have me on my feet in two weeks."
"And did he?"
"Yes, I had to sell the car to pay the bill."
Doctor, doctor, will I be able to play the violin after the operation?"
"Yes, of course..."
"Great! I never could before!"
Patient to the eye doctor: "Whenever I drink coffee, I have this sharp, excruciating pain."
"Try to remember to remove the spoon from the cup before drinking."
Doctor: " Good morning, Mrs Farokh. Haven't seen you for a long time."
Mrs Farokh: " I know, doctor. It's because I've been ill."
Man to friend: " The doctor told my wife she should do some exercise."
Friend: "And is she doing this?
Man: "Well, she is - if jumping to conclusions and running up bills can be called exercise!".