KID : Why some of ur hair are white dad...?
DAD : Every time you make me unhappy , one of my hair turns white
KID : Now I understand why grandpa's hairs are all white
1. Who is the father of chicken?
Chicken ka bab.
2. Who is the mother of chicken?
3. How do you tell a chicken to call you on your mobile?
4. What happens when a chicken takes bath?
5. Chicken in trouble?
6. Chicken getting injection?
7. Chicken doing flattery?
8. Chicken @ retirement?
9. Chicken on a winter night?
What's the difference between a good secretary and a personal secretary?
One says "Good morning, boss".
The other says "It's morning, boss."
Q: What's the similarity between mother & wife?
A: One woman brings you into the world crying & the other ensures you continue to do so.
Q: Why dogs don't marry?
A: Because they are already leading a dog's life!
Q: What's the difference between a good lawyer and a great lawyer?
A: A good lawyer knows the law. A great lawyer knows the judge.
Height of misunderstanding in a Chinese Call center
Caller: Hello, can I speak to Annie Wan?
Operator: Yes you can speak to me..
Caller: No, I want to speak to Annie Wan!
Operator: Yes I understand you want to speak to anyone. You can speak to me. Who is this?
Caller: I am Sam Wan, and I need to talk to Annie Wan. It's urgent!
Operator: I know you are someone and you want to speak to anyone. But what's the urgent matter about?
Caller: Well.. just tell my sister Annie Wan that our brother Noe Wan was involved in an accident. Noe Wan got injured and now Noe Wan is being sent to hospital. Right now, Avery Wan is on his way to the hospital.
Operator: Look, if no one was injured and no one was sent to the hospital, then the accident isn't an urgent matter! You may find this hilarious but I don't have time for this!
Caller: You are so rude! Who are you?
Operator: I'm Saw Ree.
Caller: Yes! You should be sorry. Now give me your name.
What do you call a bee that comes from America?
What do you call a lady who drinks only one tea in a day?
Jaswanti (Just 1 tea)!
Why don't people clap in Afghanistan?
Because of 'Tali-ban'!
What will you call "Burj Khalifa" after 80 years?
How do you ask your 'Massi' to take a dip in water?
Diplomacy ! (Dip-lo-massi)
How do you say "she is calling a cab" in one word?
Vocabulary ! (vo-cab-bula-ry)
Which Pakistani cricketer does not have a date of birth?
What you call a fat girl waiting at the Bus Stop?
Simple its - MOTIVATING.
Que - If a Woman is Quiet, which day is it?
Ans - Who Cares, just Enjoy that Day..
Que - How to save a Dying Woman?
Ans - Tell her about a 90% Sale going on somewhere..
Que - Why can't Women stand a day in a Jungle?
Ans - There are no Shopping Centers..
Que - Why can't Women Drive well?
Ans - Because there are so many mirrors in a car to distract them..
Que - You know why women love shoes?
Ans - Because no matter how much & whatever they eat , the shoes always fit..
The guy is on his final question for 5crore on 'KBC', and has one lifeline left, 'Phone A Friend',
And the Question was...
"Which Bird does not make a nest?"
The guy is not sure, so he calls his girlfriend.
She answers, "Stupid, it's obviously a cuckoo, 100%" and the guy wins.
Later the guy calls his girlfriend, "how the hell did you know that, honey? I must say you've got more brains than I credit you for!"
And the sweet thing replies:
"Well...., u idiot, cuckoo lives in a clock na!"
The guy is still in coma!!
Interviewer: What is Recession?
Candidate: When "Wine & Women" get replaced by "Water & Wife", that critical phase of life is called Recession!!
Why Gandhiji smiles on every rupees note and Lincon does not smile in dollars...??
Bcoz AMERICAN WOMEN do not keep money in their BLOUSE...
How do we know the Indians were the first people in North America?
They had reservations.
How do you make a hot dog stand?
Steal its chair.
How do you make an egg laugh?
Tell it a yolk.
How do you prevent a Summer cold?
Catch it in the Winter!
If a long dress is evening wear, what is a suit of armor?
What can you hold without ever touching it?
What clothes does a house wear?
What country makes you shiver?
What did one elevator say to the other?
I think I'm coming down with something!
What did one magnet say to the other?
I find you very attractive.
What did Tennessee?
The same thing Arkansas.
What did Delaware?
Her New Jersey.
What did the mother broom say to the baby broom?
It's time to go to sweep.
What did the necktie say to the hat?
You go on ahead. I'll hang around for a while.
What did the rug say to the floor?
Don't move, I've got you covered.
What do you call a guy who's born in Columbus, grows up in Cleveland, and then dies in Cincinnati?
Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team?
She ran away from the ball.
Why were the teacher's eyes crossed?
She couldn't control her pupils.
What do you call a song sung in an automobile?
What do you do when your chair breaks?
Call a chairman.
What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?
A brick layer!
What do you get if you cross an elephant and a kangaroo?
Big holes all over Australia!
What do you get when you cross a stream and a brook?
What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?
A rash of good luck.
What has 6 eyes but can't see?
3 blind mice.
What has a lot of keys but can not open any doors?
What is a tree's favorite drink?
What kind of eggs does a wicked chicken lay?
What kind of ties can't you wear?
What lies on its back, one hundred feet in the air?
A dead centipede.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?
What's green and loud?
What's round and bad-tempered?
A vicious circle.
Where do fortune tellers dance?
At the crystal ball.
Why did the doughnut shop close?
The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!