How do you get a guitar player to play softer?
Give him some sheet music.
What's a guy that hangs out with musicians called?
Why is a drum machine better than a drummer?
Because it can keep a steady beat and won't sleep with your girlfriend.
What is the range of a piccolo?
Oh, about twenty yards on a good day.
What is the difference between a drummer and a vacuum cleaner?
You have to plug one of them in before it sucks.
The doorbell rang and the lady of the house discovered a workman, complete with tool chest, on the front porch.
"Madam," he announced, "I m the piano tuner."
The lady exclaimed, "Why, I didn't send for a piano tuner."
The man replied, I know you didn't, but your neighbours did.A guy who played trombone in the opera had a fantastic gig on the day he had to play in the opera. He tried to find a replacement but without success. Finally, he went to his housekeeper and convinced him to do the replacement. "I will give you my other trombone. You just look and see what the guy next to you is doing and it will be okay."
Next morning, he asked the housekeeper how it was.
Catastrophe! your colleague also sent his housekeeper to replace him.